


R + E

by Taeters



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: A Touch of Comedy, Angst, Anyways richie is gay can you believe it?, Canon Compliant, Explicit Language, Gay Richie Tozier, I wrote this in like 2 hours so sorry, Jealous Richie Tozier, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is Whipped, Richie Tozier is a Mess, but im sure even y'all who haven't seen the movie know what r + e means at this point tbh, cause i can, light spoilers, probably at least a bit ooc lol, title is spoiler without context
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 06:20:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20596121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taeters/pseuds/Taeters
Summary: (MINOR CHAPTER 2 SPOILERS)A look into Richie's thoughts and feelings as he carves the R and the E into the kissing bridge.





	R + E

**Author's Note:**

> AKA: me projecting my own feelings onto richie while still trying to keep him in character

Richie ran. He ran faster than he ever thought possible of his scrawny body and gangly limbs, but he still ran with tears stinging his eyes and the wind whipping his face.

He nearly toppled over after reaching the well-known kissing bridge. He wasn’t exactly sure where he planned to go, but his lungs had suddenly decided to burst so he figured he’d better stop.

He slumped, slowly slipping to the ground, face in his hands as he sobbed.  _ I’m such a fucking idiot, _ he thought.

Of course. Of course Eddie would get himself a girlfriend. A cute little girly thing who Eddie boasted about as if she’s the best thing since sliced bread, who he introduced to the Losers only a day after they got together. He remembers shaking her hand and greeting her with a hopefully convincing smile, but he can’t even remember her name through his immense disgust at her sickeningly sweet-smelling perfume. He didn’t remember much from that day besides the thoughts intruding his mind that this girl would now be the only one available to kiss Eddie and hold his hand.

He tried to get over it, finding interest in a cute older boy visiting out of town who once played Street Fighter with him. He handed him a coin, momentarily brushing fingers, leaving butterflies in his stomach; not as strong as the ones with Eddie, but still definitely there.

“...Wanna go for another round?” he asked, nervously, genuine affection in his voice that he doesn’t share with many other people.

He stared at Richie for a second, until his apparent cousin Henry fucking Bowers walked in and they both began spewing insults at Richie.

He ran out of the arcade, trying to run from his terrible plague of a secret, but this was one problem he couldn’t run away from. He just wished he could find a nice girl that didn’t act so… girl _ y _ . Besides Eddie’s mom, of course.

He supposed Bev was someone who fit this role, but he never felt that way towards her, and that’s not just because Bill and Ben  _ both  _ wanted to bone her. Sure, he stared at her when she was in nothing but her bra and undies, but that was more out of general curiosity for the other gender. The only time he’d seen a naked woman was in lewd magazines that didn’t get him off. Truth be told, he much preferred sneaking glances at the other losers rather than Beverly- even if she did, honestly, have a rockin’ bod.

Richie looked up from his hands, wiping his eyes with a bony wrist. He momentarily looks up, thinking of all the ways he could  _ definitely  _ make Eddie happier than this girl. Thinking of how many more things Richie knows than this girl. How many more experiences Richie has shared with Eddie than this girl. He bets she doesn’t even know how to use Eddie’s EpiPen on him. He bet she doesn’t even know how he and Eddie killed that fucking clown together…

His eyes drift back down but immediately stop on the wooden fence. His big, brown eyes take notice of the carvings engraved in the wood: etchings of letters and hearts that young lovers once wrote to symbolize their love. He snickered, betting that most- if not all -of these couples were no longer together, but he suddenly became conscious of the pocket knife weighing on him.

Slowly, hesitantly, he pulls out the knife. He wielded this knife just in case any of his nearly daily bullying sessions got to be too much, but so far he hasn’t had to use it. He’s endured some pretty tough shit, but not yet a moment where he genuinely felt as if he may die. The only time he ever felt like he was about to die was when Eddie squeezed him in a hug, or looked at him with those big, brown,  _ perfect  _ eyes and  _ that  _ look.

He glanced back and forth between the fence and his knife a few times, before finally scrambling over to the wood. He found a clean, empty spot and began carving.

So, maybe Eddie will never love Richie. At least not in the way Richie loves him, but that’s okay. It hurts, but Richie figures having him in his life as just a friend is better than not having him in his life at all. While Eddie may not be able to give Richie the love he needs, Richie will always be there to give Eddie the love  _ he  _ needs, and being able to love Eddie is enough for him even without the returned favor.

He stops carving, shifting back and taking a look at his work. R + E stares back at him.

He grins to himself. The letters- these simple letters -make him feel happy. Even if they’re not real, even if they don’t actually relate to each other, he finds a sense of satisfaction in knowing that he left his mark of his love for Eddie on the world. His mark of his  _ first  _ love.

He tucks his knife back in his pocket, then stands up and begins to walk home.

Even though Richie doesn’t have Eddie himself, at least he still has Eddie’s mom.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A GAYS ONLY EVENT GO HOME
> 
> also i MIIIGHT do more chapters in the future ? make this a bit more soft? relieve richie's pain??? Idk, let me know if you'd like more chapters and if you would read them!


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